As I scroll social media, one thing I see time and time again on the base community Facebook groups is that people are lonely, do not know anyone and struggle to put themselves out there. We have ALL been there! I have most definitely been there.

Stepping Out of my Comfort Zone

Finding Friends through Volunteering

Our first base was Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio. I did not know a single person. It took awhile to find a job. I did not feel like I fit in with my neighbors in base housing. I was incredibly lonely. Towards the very end of our time there, I joined the spouses’ club, but by that time it was too late to really build friendships.

We then PCSed to our next base, Beale AFB, and everything changed. I put myself out there very quickly after arriving. I joined a book club. I was involved with our squadron spouses. And I joined the spouses’ club. I met amazing people; two of which I hope will be lifetime friends (love you Ciara and Emily)!

When I found out we were PCSing to Shaw AFB Sumter, South Carolina, I was beyond excited, as South Carolina is home for me. Before moving I contemplated whether I would be involved with the spouses’ club at all. I figured I would spend more time with family and friends while we were living close. But after only a couple weeks of living here, I attended my first spouses’ club social. I talked to several very welcoming ladies and felt good about joining.

During my time with the Shaw Spouses’ Club, I volunteered as Public Relations Chair, President and Social Media Manager. I had the most incredibly fulfilling time while being a part of that club. I learned so much about social media marketing through trial and error. I learned about my strengths and (many) weaknesses as a leader. I learned about running a non-profit and private organization within the Air Force community. We built relationships with local businesses and increased awareness of our club within the community. A new Walmart opened in town and they approached us because they wanted to give our club a $1,000 grant! It was amazing to be a part of that club.

Three volunteers with a military spouses' club

Jumping In to Spouses’ Clubs

Gaining Professional Experience & More

I am currently stationed at USAG Stuttgart and once again started with a bang by becoming involved very quickly with the Stuttgart Community Spouses’ Club. My very first event was intimidating. It was their last social of the year (hurray for PCSing in the “off-season”) and I knew NO ONE. Luckily someone took pity on me and sat with me; we had so much fun laughing, talking and playing Pokeno (it’s like Bingo but with playing cards instead of numbers).

Because of that experience, I volunteered to serve as Membership Chair so that I could help welcome fellow newbies. Coming from an Air Force background to serving on an Army base has been educational and I continue to learn and grow. Through my connections with the spouses’ club here I was able to secure a job working at the thrift shop where I have used my skills creating graphics for social media. This experience has even encouraged me to take classes on social media marketing to expand my knowledge even further.

The takeaway is that I put myself out there and became involved. It is SCARY! I am an introvert. It is very easy and natural for me to plop down on the couch and watch hours of Netflix, read a book or endlessly scroll through social media. But I know without friends, projects and events to attend I become very lonely and unhappy.

With social media it is easy to feel like we know people without ever leaving the house, but it is not the same. There is nothing online to replace sharing a meal with someone or volunteering alongside someone. I encourage you to become involved. I know, I know…walking into a room when you do not know a single person is super terrifying. But in the end, you will feel proud of yourself for getting out of your comfort zone and making the effort.

Maybe you won’t click with anyone. Maybe it’s not a good spouse club. Maybe it costs too much money to join. Maybe you are a Senior Airman’s spouse and everyone else is an officers’ spouse. But do it! At least give it a chance.

And while you’re at it, don’t just join but consider serving on the board. From the spouses’ clubs I have experienced so far there are a variety of positions with different levels of commitment. Get your feet wet by taking on a smaller role. Or ask to co-chair something with a more experienced member. If your spouses’ club needs some improvement, share your feedback with the Executive Board and help them become better.

Being a part of a club is incredibly rewarding. Not only can you network with other spouses, but spouses’ clubs do charitable work so you can also give back to the community in a very meaningful way.

In the end, joining a spouses’ club is an easy way to meet other spouses who are experiencing many of the same trials you are facing. We can all relate to issues like PCSing, childcare scarcity, trying to find a job, or dealing with TDYs and deployments. It can be incredible to build relationships in a spouses’ club and find ways to support and lean on each other. You never know what could come from it. Give it a try!