Just Like Me: A National Guard Spouse's Story

I found MSAN in a very lonely period of time where I was lacking the connection to others just like me. We moved–again–and we had the challenge of making all the new connections in a place we’ve never been before. 

This sounds more like Active Duty life, not National Guard life, right? 

My spouse has been in the NG since 2001. We met in 2003 and quickly started our life and family together. Our firstborn son (who is now serving with his dad in the MSNG) was 6 weeks old when my spouse left for war. 

In an era of wars and rumors, National Guard troops quickly became the backbone to support all these wars. Since 2001, the Mississippi National Guard has mobilized over 10,000 service members in support of Operations Noble Eagle, Enduring Freedom, Iraqi Freedom, and New Dawn. This includes every deployable unit participating in these operations. 

Photo courtesy of Stephanie Everett

As a new spouse and a new parent, I needed support. I reached out to the Family Readiness Group (now called the SFRG) and was connected instantly. The group welcomed me in as a new spouse, and we learned to lean on each other during one of the roughest deployments (the 155th ABCT lost 15 soldiers during that deployment). Being able to simply be present with others like us is sometimes all the support we need, knowing we are not alone–it was nice to have that.

As we have moved across the state for each duty assignment, it was important for me to stay connected to others just like me- a National Guard spouse learning to navigate both military and civilian worlds. 

As we grow with our children, it is important to stay connected with those who will help you flourish- and stay connected to your roots. I found MSAN in a time of deep need for root growth. I needed to find myself, find purpose in who I was, and find those who were going to help me get there. And I did! 

In my growth, I also learned how to help others grow.

MSAN connected me with National Guard Spouses just like me. I was trained as a Mentor, then a Branch Mentor, and Mentorship Program Coordinator. When it was opened for staff to become Mental Health Allies through the partnership with Psych Hub- I said yes! 

This training has been very beneficial in my everyday life as an educator and parent. I have three children with various exceptional needs. This training helped me navigate helping each of them, and advocating for getting my kids the best help.

Some time later, I found my niche in the staff as MSAN’s Data Analyst. I get to see all the wonderful behind the scenes things that support MSAN’s growth and mission strategies. It’s amazing! 

I am still in this role today, but also in the HR Department as Volunteer Engagement Coordinator. In this role, I help ensure that every MSAN volunteer is recognized for their strength and dedication to the team. As a spouse who was often the one working hard behind the scenes and going unnoticed in the front, I know the value of recognition. 

As VEC I help certify hours for our volunteers to receive the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. This nationally-recognized award can help bridge gaps in resumes for those military spouses in transition between places or careers. 

Photo courtesy of Stephanie Everett

MSAN’s virtual Mentorship-HUB has made it really convenient for me to connect with others. According to Program Manager Jenn Fencl, in a world of digital everything, MSAN is leading the way to create more spaces to “tie the houses together through development and growing into mentorship and leading to being able to mentor at a higher level of care” through our Mental Health Ally certificates, Leadership Institute for Military Spouses, Military Spouse Mentorship Program, Ambassadors, and Advocates who are in the military community pushing for the legislation we need to make better changes for all military families everywhere.

We can’t forget that National Guard Spouses are also part of this sacrifice to support the mission of the military. They are the backbone, and the reason why I still give back to the community who gives so much. When I am weary and ready to quit advocating, they are my motivation to keep going. I stop and think, “they may need someone just like me.” 

To connect with other National Guard spouses and mentors, join the global Mentorship-HUB.

Outside of MSAN, Stephanie Everett is a middle school teacher, teaching English to students of other languages. She has taught students from more than a dozen cultures and countries around the world. Stephanie has received the Governor’s Award of Partnership Excellence for a partnership with the MS National Guard, “OTMS Builds Character,” providing Character Education Program to Title 1 Schools.