This post is for the new milspouses.

It’s for the spouse who just had their first baby (or their second, or third, or fourth). It’s for the spouse that just had to quit their job. It’s for the spouse who had to make a career change. It’s for the spouse who just moved (again)… (And for the one still waiting on their household goods to arrive). The spouse going through an identity crisis. It’s for the girlfriends and the boyfriends and the significant others and the fiancés. This post is for those who may be feeling lost. Overwhelmed. Uncomfortable. Alone.

I’ve been there! The long distance, the uncertainty, the unknown… the late night phone calls, the FaceTime dates, the waiting and staring at your phone, the tears. I’ve cried at airports, in the grocery store, at the mall. But it’s all worth it. Because then comes the reunion: The joy, bliss, hugs, laughs, and, of course, happy tears.

My husband has been away from home training and just got the unexpected opportunity to spend the weekend at home. Boy, did we have a blast! I can't tell you how many laughs and snacks were shared. He left this morning (a 6 AM flight… ugh!) and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Grateful for the quality time spent together and grateful for the unexpected surprise. Of course we will miss one another for the remainder of the training. (53 more days, but who's counting?)

I was inspired to write this post after he left. I’ve recently decided to change my perspective when my husband is traveling or working long days, when my household goods take longer than expected to arrive, or when this life becomes overwhelming. I’ve decided to refocus my energy towards what I am grateful for. I’ve decided to enjoy the little things… The things that make me happy when things feel upside down… Like walks on the beach, reading by candlelight, and breakfast for dinner.

This post is one of gratitude. Today I am grateful for the friendships I have made through this past PCS who “get” me. Those who let me be my authentic self. The family that is far away in distance, but always a phone call or a short plane ride away. The incredible job and community of coworkers who share a passion. The support from my crew at MSAN.

Being a military spouse is no easy feat. There are obstacles and challenges to overcome through each phase of life. Friends come and go through each PCS. There are long days and there are lonely nights. This life is not for everyone. You chose this life because you love your soldier, this country, and the family you’ve created. In trying times, remember the reasons why. Remember all you have to be grateful for.

How do you keep track of gratitude? Do you write down what you’re feeling grateful for in a journal? Do you pray? Do you jot down notes on your phone?

Here are some other great ideas to express and record your gratitude:

Have a thankful thought? Keep it in a box full of sticky notes!
Call your loved ones and tell them you are thankful for them. Be specific about why!
Give someone else something to be grateful for and commit a random act of kindness. Note how this makes you feel.
Start a gratitude journal. Jot down your thoughts each morning to set your intention for the day.
Express gratitude on The MSAN Hub! Start a conversation with other milspouses.

Call to action to my milspouses:

Look around you. Name one thing you are grateful for today. (Not feeling grateful today? That’s ok. Try again tomorrow.)
Document your experience. This will give you a reminder when you need it.
Reach out! You are strong, and you are not alone.

Being a military spouse is a journey, but it isn’t a journey you have to go through by yourself. Looking for some encouragement or support? Visit the MSAN Hub to connect with other milspouses.

Nina Dahl is an active-duty Army spouse living in Northwest Florida. She works in corporate learning and development (L&D) as a full time facilitator. Nina is a recent career changer. She had a career in the K-12 education space for five years prior to making the transition to L&D. Nina loves the beach, cooking, traveling, and laughing with friends & family. She started volunteering with MSAN in May 2022 as a New Spouse Mentor and is now an Army Ambassador. Feel free to connect with Nina on MSAN’s Mentorship-HUB, or on LinkedIn.